


Trick or Treat

by Skyler10



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Bad Puns, Crack, F/M, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Humor, Pete's World, Pete's World Torchwood, Sexting, Sexual Humor, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-30
Updated: 2016-10-30
Packaged: 2018-08-27 20:49:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,821
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8416279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Skyler10/pseuds/Skyler10
Summary: Rose and Tentoo are hot on the trail of some aliens at a fancy dress Halloween party. Tentoo gets into a bit of a mess and goes home to clean up while Rose takes care of the aliens. A very long time later, she still isn’t home. He decides to send her a photo of his second “Halloween costume” of the night, this one much dirtier and much more naked than the first.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Based on a post from @jeeno2 (http://skyler10fic.tumblr.com/post/152140587114/jeeno2-jeeno2-jeeno2-the-fact-that-its-time) and @dwsmutfest’s weekly prompt: too spoopy! Thanks to @jeeno2, @chairoscuroverse and @lastbluetardis for the encouragement for this silly crack-smut. Yes, Rose’s costume is based on that one photo of Billie I can’t find at the moment.

Damn aliens.

It was a summary of his life (lives), but also specifically in this moment, it was all the damn aliens’ fault that he and Rose were _not_ in their bed wearing nothing, but were in fact, at a very risqué Halloween party undercover. She was a sexy witch in a little black and orange skirt and pointy hat. He was dressed as a physician, finding the humor too hard to resist. Rose didn’t object, seeing as it allowed her to call him “Doctor” without arousing suspicion. They were supposed to be keeping an eye on some aliens who had shown up on Torchwood’s radar, but that proved difficult on tonight of all nights.

“Who do you think it is?” she murmured as they danced to a slow song.

“Hmmm, not the cowboy. We know their ears are green and I saw his when he took his hat off. Not the couple in footie scarves. Teeth too white. The aliens we’re looking for have terrible dental hygiene and their teeth are more pointy.”

“There’s a vampire in the corner. No! Don’t turn and look!” She guided him in a graceful turn so he could see without making it obvious. The vampire popped out his fake teeth and showed a grossed-out princess.

“Never mind that then. Anyone else?”

The song ended and they agreed wordlessly to divide and conquer. Time for the “domestic approach.” Rose began chatting up a group of superheroes while the Doctor searched for anything suspicious.  

He wandered over to the food, trying to play it cool and pretending to check out the nibbles, but actually making small talk with the “pirate” and “bear” next to him. All it took was a clumsy move from the burly bloke in the bear costume (who likely could barely see out of the eye holes) and the Doctor was headed face first for the punch bowl. His arm flew out to grab on to the closest thing, which was, unfortunately, the pirate’s red cloth belt. The bear landed on top of them, effectively pinning the Doctor in a puddle of a fruity alcoholic soda concoction, candy, and various chocolate sweets.

 “Oh no you don’t!” he heard Rose shout. A pair in black cloaks and Scream masks were using the distraction to escape out into the alleyway. Rose spotted their sneaking and had engaged in pursuit, leaving the Doctor to disentangle himself and apologize to the party’s host. He tried to follow Rose and the probable alien duo, but the bear and pirate were shouting, then shoving each other, blocking the Doctor’s path. The whole place erupted in a brawl, crushing the Doctor’s hopes of joining in the alien chase.

* * *

 

No sooner had the fight died down than the Doctor’s mobile rang. It was Rose. The aliens had been apprehended easily by their team waiting in a van nearby, but it would be hours to get them interrogated, processed, and detained for the night. He told her he would just go home to clean up. There was no point in staying at the party and he was covered in sticky food and drink.

She promised she wouldn’t be long and rang off.

Two hours later, the Doctor had showered, washed his costume, eaten a late night snack, and was starting his second Halloween movie. He wasn’t really paying attention to what movie it was until he got bored of scrolling through his emails and tossed his phone to his lap.

He had just drifted off, sprawled out on the sofa as he was, when the phone vibrated powerfully on his lap with a text. He jolted up before realizing he had increased the power of the vibration so he would be sure to feel it in his pocket at the party. Combined with the very *ahem* _pleasant_ dream about Rose that he had only just fallen into before the text, his cock stirred in his pants. Then he read the text from Rose:

> “Don’t fall asleep yet. I’ll be home soon and make it up to you that we got separated tonight. ;) ”
> 
> “Rose Tyler, are you suggesting what I think you’re suggesting? <3” he responded.
> 
> “Maybe I am, ‘Doctor.’ Think I need a checkup, if you know what I mean.”

 Before he could respond with how hard this combination of events was making him, Rose sent another:

> “Shit! Dad’s here! Gtg. Love you. I’ll be home asap, promise.”

The Doctor sighed and returned to the movie on the television. It was an incredibly slow-moving plot, however, so he didn’t make it long before he was falling asleep again. The costumes of the party mixed with his desire for Rose, making his dreams strange and erotic and doing nothing for the bulge in his boxers.

Eventually, the strong vibration on his lap signaled another text from Rose, this time causing him to yelp and practically shoot up off the sofa.

> “Guess who’s free and headed home? ;) Everyone else is gone and I’m filling out the last of the paperwork now. You still up for that ‘exam’?”

Still groggy from his dream and high on the idea of imminent sex with Rose, he had an idea.   

> “Idk, it’s Halloween, so I was thinking of a different costume more fitting for the theme of the night.”
> 
> “Oh? What did you have in mind?”

Now he was committed. No backing out. In a surge of courage, he pulled down his boxers, letting his erection stand tall and free. He grabbed a tissue from the box on the end table and a Sharpie. After drawing three quick circles and coloring them in, he laid back down on the sofa and placed the tissue just _so_ over his eager cock. He opened the camera in their texting app and angled it just so. The lighting in the room was terrible, so he made it black and white. Sexier that way anyway.

> “Depends,” he answered her. “Trick… Or treat?”

He sucked in a breath and attached the photo before hitting send.

She didn’t respond for a while. A long while. His ghost wobbled in insecurity. Just as he was about to pull his boxers back up and call her to apologize, she burst through the door.

“Surprise!” she shouted, locking the door behind her. She shed her coat, purse, hat, and entire witch costume as fast as possible, leaving sparkly shoes and spider-web tights and the whole lot wherever they happened to fall as she approached his gaping, blushing, naked body on the sofa. He just stared stupidly.

“I lied,” she explained. “I wasn’t really finishing up the paperwork. I was at the last traffic light on the way home.”

She climbed up to hover over his lap, now down to black lace knickers and bra, each with a thin orange ribbon trimming.

“Blimey” was all he could say.

“Wanted to surprise you.” She kissed him deeply and settled down on his thighs. She laughed when she finally looked down and saw his ghost in person. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Yeah? Sexy?” He winked and she giggled more. “I was worried when you didn’t text back. Sooo, really though. Funny or…?”

“Definitely funny. And a little sexy. In a ridiculous, ‘I have no idea why but your sense of humor turns me on’ sort of way.”

“I’ll take it,” he laughed, then gasped as her hand brushed the ghost off of the sensitive skin it was covering.

“So I never answered your question.” She began stroking him long and slow and teasingly light.

“Hmm?” He tried to concentrate on the meaning of her words, but it was rather _hard_.

“In your text.” Her words were breathy and low now, knowing exactly what she was doing to him. “You asked me if I wanted a trick or a treat.”

“Oh,” he exhaled with a hint of a moan.

She leaned in close to his ear so her long blonde waves tickled his shoulder and her bra pressed against his chest.

“I choose treat.” She pulled back and sent him a naughty wink, the kind with her mouth open a bit and the tip of her tongue pressed against the back of her teeth.

The Doctor made a growling sound and stood up, pushing off from the sofa with one hand and cradling her bum in the other. She immediately wrapped her legs around him, even as she squealed in surprise.

He plopped her on their bed and set about removing her black and orange lingerie.

“I’ve been haunted by you two pumpkins all night,” he said to her newly bare breasts, making them bounce with her giggles.

“Is that your ‘ghost’ talking?” she teased.

He responded by moving up to rut against her and nip at her neck.

“Too bad I didn’t go as Dracula,” he mused between humping and kisses and love bites. “Perhaps we could try that next year. Makes for excellent role play.”

“Vampires do have a lot of erotic subtext,” she rushed out. She tried to make it sound clever to impress him, but with his lips and teeth on her neck and fingers on her nipples, it was difficult to make intelligent literary observations, no matter how relevant her motive.

He teased her folds in reward, regardless, and whispered in her ear.

“You know what else my ghost says?” He slipped a finger inside her, curling it inside of her at just the right angle.

“What’s that?” she got out just before it turned into a moan.

“You look so bootiful like this.” He swiped his thumb in tight, rough circles around her clit. She decided that was enough of his puns and teasing. It was time to claim her treat. She orchestrated the perfect (well-practiced) change of positions. Now she was on top and in control.

He blinked in surprise. Before he could get out another Halloween dirty joke, she guided his former ‘ghost’ inside her and rocked her hips against him. He tried to muffle a groan, but it only brought a mischievous smile to her lips.

She was going to get her promised treat. And she knew just how to get him to shut up and give it to her.

She rode him hard, up and down, over and over, then added a little twist of her hips. Just as he was about to come, she leaned down to whisper into his ear.

“I love it when your ghost haunts my secret passageways.”

He couldn’t help it; he came, holding her tightly against him even as he panted out a surprised laugh into her hair. He rolled his hips and thrust up into her in just the right way. Her orgasm crashed over her, and he saw his opportunity. He retaliated.

“Rose Tyler, you’re the only ghoul for me.”

She groaned, whether in pleasure or in reaction to his pun, he would never know. He beamed proudly all the same.   

 

 


End file.
